Dear Vickie Howell,

I know you are supposed to be the cute and "hip" or even "edgy" host of knitty gritty. We got it! You aren't my grandmother and you will never knit what she did, fine. But you've gone too far, you need an intervention. Guess what...I'm happy to say that I don't think my grandmother would knit what you showed today. She's probably rolling in her grave right now!

What am I talking about? Oh you know, those multi-yarn atrocities you showed off today. Where do I begin?!
Oh god, let's start with this poor girl.

You acted like this was the cutest sweater Marc Jacobs knitted up for you. But open your eye's Vickie! If not at the layers of Lion Brand crap you put on this girl, then please look at her hair! Why is it so tall? Why does the random pocket have a tassel? Why does she look like she was pelted with bobbles? Please notice at how she looks away in shame, she can't even look towards the camera for fear of being recognized.

Now this girl, this girl really tried to work it.

It must have been all the crack she took before putting this on. What is it with the fun fur?! I love how you said that you could throw this jacket over anything? Did you really mean this?!

Good God! It looks like the eighties came back and threw up on her. I know what that jacket could be thrown over, how about a roaring fire?

Now I have a fun idea! Why don't we knit a sweater in fair isle with huge fun fur (double stranded!) cuffs and collar? And you know what would be really cute? If we put something that looked like yarn in our hair to complete the snazzy look. REALLY, it will look great.

Well, at least she's pretending to look happy.

Now Vickie, I know you aren't the only one to blame for this crap. You are just the host after all, there was only one episode where you actually knit (and it was the same damn guitar strap from what, the first knitty issue?! Please move on!). At least one of the other people to blame wasn't hiding. I just couldn't believe she told everyone she designs for Lion Brand without shame. I think she's just as shocked as I was though.

Doesn't her poncho just look darling!? She's got balls, that's all I have to say.

So what have we learned here Vickie? That you shouldn't try to sell me Lion Brand, you should know when you have gone over the edge, and that everyone on knitty gritty is apparently on drugs. Please stop trying to act like you are the coolest thing around, please.


Blogger Tara said...

Clearly Vickie Howell and her creepy knitsters must be stopped.

22/7/05 12:32 AM  
Blogger yahaira said...

tell me about it!

22/7/05 8:33 AM  
Blogger Tara said...

I had the same reaction when I saw that episode. And it's the last one I've watched.

22/7/05 8:49 AM  
Anonymous Liz said...

Couldn't agree more. *shudder*

22/7/05 9:12 AM  
Anonymous Diana said...

oh dear lord, those sweaters are just awful. The sad thing is that some misguided knitters out there may decide to knit them, giving the rest of us a bad name. I do like that green mini-poncho though, alas ponchos are over!

22/7/05 9:23 AM  
Blogger Lothruin said...

I will say, I've got Knitty Gritty set on my DVR, and I think I've seen every episode now, or at least have watched of it what I wanted. I learn pretty well no matter which method I choose, be it from a book or a video, with or without pictures...

But I DO like having the opportunity to see close-up how things are actually done. Near as I can tell, though, that and those cute little suede-look baby booties someone posted on Craftster a while back have been the only redeaming qualities.

Well, I did enjoy watching the illusion knitting episode that featured the designer of SnB's Alien Illusion scarf. THAT was great, getting to watch someone actually doing it. I wasn't sure whether I was confused or not reading the directions in the book, but I'm not confused now.

Still, though, the episode in question here was certainly not Vicki's finest moment.

22/7/05 9:37 AM  
Anonymous Amy said...

OK, she's not in these photos, but WHY does she almost always wear a choker of some sort? It really bugs me.

22/7/05 10:58 AM  
Anonymous Ines said...

hahahaha - oh, you go girl - I am among those who have stopped watching this show for fear of nightmares

23/7/05 11:13 AM  
Blogger illanna said...

Here Here! Is the new season of Knitty Gritty back on? Your post is like an advertisement using negative publicity! I like that fairisle sweater... well except the rats on the cuffs.

23/7/05 12:57 PM  
Blogger yahaira said...

I think it's still the same old season, just repeated over and over again. Have you noticed how Vickie Howell doesnt age? lol

"I did enjoy watching the illusion knitting episode that featured the designer of SnB's Alien Illusion scarf"
The show has it's purpose, but notice you didn't mention vickie howell helping you, but rather the guest. I can't really say the show has been very helpful. Does anyonen remember the eyelash flip-flops?!

23/7/05 2:39 PM  
Blogger Tara said...

Anytime I think I'm starting to learn how to do something from a guest Vickie interrupts them and I get confused again.

The spinning epidode was somewhat helpful though

23/7/05 5:14 PM  
Blogger yahaira said...

That's the one episode Ive been wanting to see, but somehow I always miss.

Yep. she's an interruptor alright.

23/7/05 8:13 PM  
Anonymous Keridiana said...

I tried to watch that before and was not interested quickly. Thank goodness! Those are scary scary. And the only Lion Brand patterns I can stand are the ones for little tykes, who don't care that it's 2005. Good job trashing that!

23/7/05 10:46 PM  
Anonymous jess said...

oh dear. i don't have TV and have never seen knitty gritty, but i didn't think it was this bad. the world was a much better place before the invention of fun fur. much. better.

24/7/05 6:51 PM  
Blogger andrea said...

LOL!!!!! I love the commentary!!! Those designs are just terrible! It gives us knitters a really bad name. I really hate how Lion Brand is trying to be cool, like the magazine Knit 1. So tacky.

28/7/05 3:18 PM  
Blogger julia said...

I had basically the same thoughts when I watched that episode. Your comment above is spot on. The episodes that I found most instructive and informational were those in which the guests took control (notably the sock episode and the show where Jenna Adorno made her SnB sweater). Although, Vickie still managed to tick me off by constantly mispronouncing Jenna's name.

2/8/05 5:26 PM  

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